Lots to say today… This has been such a crazy, CRAZY season adjusting to life with “Irish twins”! But we are trying to “normalize”: I started back to work this past weekend and Colby heads back to class this week. Although don’t hold me to it AT ALL…one of my goals is going to be to write at least a short entry every Thursday night. I don’t ever work on Thursdays and Colby has class at night. So my idea is that on those nights after the two little buddies are tucked in I’ll have time set aside to write – if for no other reason than to chronicle my crazy life right now because I feel certain with all the sleeplessness that will occur with two tiny kids and working nightshift, I’ll never remember all the “stuff” I’ll be pondering
Now on to something totally unrelated. This is also a season of a lot of “soul searching-ish” stuff for Colby and me. We are beginning to see the time wind down for our life at Seminary now that he only has a year and a half left to go (maybe two years, but we’ll just have to see). What in the world are we going to do after that?! Our plans for moving overseas are on hold until Judah Boy’s medical care is a little more stable so we are just a little stumped. It’s led to endless thinking and “what if’s” and what I like to call “window shopping” on Craigslist for an apartment in the City (aka San Francisco) just because I’m getting so tired of life without a dishwasher, washer and dryer in the house and maybe a place with enough room for a real dining table for family dinners?! It’s been easy to complain and get sort of a “poor me” attitude. So I’ve reluctantly been praying for God to change my heart and perspective (I mean, it’s sometimes kinda hard to let go of being the “victim”…right?). The past few days I’ve really felt led to write this entry, with this specific title- Heroes of the Faith- as some sort of tribute-ish/encouragement/edification to the Body of Christ about those that I find myself surrounded by that truly humble me to my knees and spur me on to finish up one more sink of bottles with a good attitude, and labor on in my role as Colby’s ministry support, knowing that this is where I’m called (for now, at the very least- maybe for a long time? I’m glad God knows!). Some of these folks I know very well, some of them I hardly know at all, but they encourage me, challenge me. I hope that for those of you nestled in a comfortable lifestyle, maybe they’ll ruffle your feathers a bit too and motivate you to sacrifice more!!! I’m finding it a bit hard to even know where to start, so bear with me…
When I look around me, this is what I see: singles, couples, and families that sold almost everything, packed what they didn’t and moved across the country to answer a call. I see large families living in tiny apartments on even tinier budgets to the Glory of the Father. I see intelligent (I mean genius, really!) people with multiple degrees working at Starbucks, grocery and retail stores, babysitting- whatever it takes- to financially support themselves as they labor in ministry jobs where there is not enough funding for pay. A woman who left the comfort of a successful career to answer a crazy call to do more than she thought possible of herself for the Glory of God, the Father. Several families that sometimes wonder if there will be enough in the bank account to cover all their food and bills but somehow bring meals and encouragement to those in need around them. Couples who are patiently awaiting God’s answer to the next step for their plans to do International missions, while working really hard jobs…and some that cannot find jobs at all! Families that left the “creature comforts” of home where grandma was just down the street to babysit, lived in a nice, big home, and business was booming, so that they could mend the brokeness of a congregation in great need. I see dads who have the courage and love to care for their children and wives unashamedly in a culture where men are largely absent from the home (I’m married to one of these!). Women who trust their Lord first and then their husbands to lead and guide them when it is totally socially unacceptable to be a submissive wife. A family affected by a special needs child that could have retreated home where it would be easier with family support, but are weathering the storm and beginning a ministry in obedience to our Great God. Those suffering from the pain of infertility on a campus where every other day someone else is expecting. A couple who sees the opportunity to share the Gospel rather than embrace bitterness towards a doctor that had an “I told you so…” attitude after loosing a baby when they refused certain tests. A family that sacrificed a two income household so that hundreds of meals can be served to the hungry poor coming in off the streets of San Francisco every week. A man who delivers pizzas so that his wife can be a stay-at-home mom to foster kids. I am surrounded by those who humble themselves to what the world may see as a low status in order to influence a City that is so empty, yet filled with so much hopelessness. These are not the folks who read books like Crazy Love and Radical and nestle back into their comfortable lives…these are the people that are living radical, crazy loving lives while serving the Bride of Christ. These are the people that keep pushing me to keep my head up, keep going- running toward the Prize, step out in faith to do things I never thought were possible and, to be honest, never cared.
These are my Heroes of the Faith.