I have found myself wondering over the last couple days – once again!!!! – asking the question, “Why?!” Why in the world are we going back and forth to the hospital again…and this time with our “healthy” child? I’m not 100% certain I know the answer to that question or if I ever will understand all of the trials we’ve been through over the last couple of years, but I am certain that I have had so many wonderful moments being reminded of God’s faithfulness to us! Today was no exception to that rule.
We are just so, so tired. This makes night number three spending the night in the hospital with Eden and I think those two nights combined I’ve gotten maybe six hours of sleep and a couple short naps in the afternoon while Eden was napping. I can feel my strong Momma walls begin to break down. As much as I tell myself this is a cake walk compared to Judah’s hospitalizations, it is heart breaking to hear that tiny, hoarse little cry coming from the “jail cell” hospital crib, hold my sweet baby burning up with a fever and wipe away the little dried up tear crust from her eyes. One of the worst parts about this hospitalization compared with all the others is that Colby and I are separated. I’m here with one patient, and he’s at home with another patient…we don’t have each other to keep going and picking up the slack when the other is just too tired- and that’s hard. As I was driving back alone to the hospital tonight, I was reminded of a few verses in Proverbs…and I’m so very thankful for the girl friends in my life that come alongside me in hard times.
Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” and Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” I love the truth of Scripture! Thanks to the kind words and deeds of good friends, I received a great, big dose of the world’s best medicine- a cheerful heart…my burden is not so heavy now.
Yesterday, Megan dropped any afternoon plans she may have had and crossed the bridge to come and stay with (a very grumpy) Judah so that Colby and I could have some time together at the hospital with Eden. I left Colby with Eden for the evening so I could be with Judah for a little while and put him to bed. I only spent a few minutes talking with Megan about this and that and updating her on the latest with Eden…but it lifted the heaviness of my anxious, tired heart (not to mention filled by belly with yummy Pioneer Woman tortilla soup she made for us!). Then today, Caitlin came up to the hospital for a few hours just so I wouldn’t be so alone (I mean, we are literally the only patient in this tiny Peds unit!). She held and loved on Eden and we talked about nothing super important…summer plans, their second baby, kids music and we made a quick stop in the super cute baby gift shop in the hospital and drooled a bit over the frufru, overpriced baby gifts. Again, nothing extraordinary was imparted to me, just the fellowship of good friends. Lately, I know God has been teaching me that no matter where we go (who knows if we’ll ever make it back “home” to Georgia?!) He will provide a loving family to care for us and pray for us. He will place people in our paths that, when the going gets tough, we can call in a pinch and not feel paranoid about “inconveniencing” them simply because the Church is becoming our family- and you can do that to family! This is the only way that we’ve made it through the last couple years being so far away from our biological families…we miss them dearly!!! The kindness shown to me was just the right dose of medicine I needed!
I bet you these gals didn’t realize that they were in the medical field too.